Everyone could use a reminder about the power of positive self talk.
Self talk is that inner voice that helps us calm our monkey minds once the hamster wheel of anxiety or depression starts spinning.
Self talk is just a part of DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) but it can be applied in any moment to help us cope with the present emotion.
For example, it is Monday morning and you are dreading going to work. You have a project to work on that seems like it will never be finished. You literally cannot get your butt out of bed to get ready to leave.
Here’s how to use positive self talk. As soon as you think, “I really don’t want to go to work because I am never going to finish that project.” Tell yourself (either inside your mind or quietly) “Stop- I am. I can. I will.” You should feel a literal difference in your body- your breath, your heart rate, etc.
A good sign that you could use a little positive self talk is if you find yourself saying “always” or “never” in relationship to a negative feeling your are having. For example, “I am never going to finish this project.” That should send up a little signal that you need some positive self talk to get you through this moment. Remember, as our arousal level goes up, problem solving goes out the window. So if you want to complete the project, you have got to bring the arousal level down.
“Always” and “never” represent black and white thinking and can get us into trouble.
The best thing about positive self talk is that the more we practice it, the better we become at it. It becomes second nature to have these positive thoughts as a response to our negative ones.
Here are a few of my favorites in case you need some new positive phrases to try:
Definitely feeling confident thinking this.
Yes! The ultimate! For when you really need to get pumped up. “Let’s Do This!”
What’s your favorite self talk phrase? Tweet me @drrenae
#letsdothis #iamicaniwill #igotthis