Dear Russet Burbanks, You are the sunshine that makes my day. Love, Dr. N.
This morning, I woke up thinking about Dunkin Donuts. I don’t know why, but I just did.
So I hopped into my car, and headed over to the closest Dunkin Donuts to get my most favorite breakfast.
“Hey Dr. Renae,” a voice over the speaker greeted me. “Your usual?”
“Yup,” I replied. I spun the car around to the next window and picked up a chocolate iced donut (hold the sprinkles -let’s not go too crazy) and a mocha coolatta (extra whip cream, of course.)
So I headed over to my favorite writing spot and spent some time going over my newest book, Phenomenal Fast Food, which argues in favor of highly processed foods. These are the safest foods in our food system. They are designed, engineered, tested, packaged, and preserved. Fresh, real food becomes rancid very quickly causing all kind of gastrointestinal distress when ingested. Furthermore, no one has really researched them. What happens to you after a lifetime of pasture raised meats, dairy and organic fruits and vegetables? Personally, I’m frightened of the possibilities. On the other hand, scientifically formulated foods have an extended shelf life and rarely go bad.
I was including this latest internet treasure, a photo of six year old chicken nuggets and fries that still appear to be perfectly edible, when I heard my stomach rumble.
Mmm….chicken nuggets… mmm….french fries. Those ever so special Russet Burbank potatoes, crop dusted with methamidophos until snow white, then harvested and sitting for six weeks in a special controlled warehouse to off gas chemical residues before being processed…Rumble, gurgle, growl…It does it every time!
So I put aside my important work and hopped back in my car. When you get the urge, you get the urge. You know what I mean? I pulled into the drive–thru, whereupon being asked if I’d like to super size my meal, I wholeheartedly said, “yes to extra fries! Yes to extra nuggets! Yes to extra coke!” Then I thought about all that sugar in a coke, and asked for a diet coke instead. Because we all know aspartame is totally safe. Again, processed perfection. Enhanced living through chemistry.
I decided to eat and drive. I’m really good at multitasking. So I ripped open the ketchup with my teeth, squirted it out on some random mail I left in my car and proceeded to dip and drive. It was hard managing the ketchup and fries, the sweet and sour sauce and nuggets, but I did it.
I pulled into my driveway thinking I was going to get some work done, but instead I felt exhausted. All that driving, those drive-thru, I was basically ready for a nap. Besides, my blood sugar was skyrocketing and I could feel my blood pressure rising and thought that a heart attack, or blood sugar attack, (at the very least a headache) was imminent. I needed to rest.
So I headed upstairs, breathing heavy, because the salt sometimes does that to me. My dog, upon smelling the rancid fast food odors, came running and starting licking my skin like the food was coming out of my pores. Once he settled down, we took a nap.
When I woke up, it was dark out. My stomach was rumbling. For a moment, I thought that I might want an apple, but the thought of eating an apple was preposterous! I don’t keep food in my fridge! Everyone knows when you buy fresh food it just spoils!
As I dragged myself out of bed, and got ready for my dinner out with my friends, I hoped that we were going some place good. I had heard about that newest restaurant where the portions are triple what they are every where else, everything is deep fried and you actually drink out of a bottomless cup that is replenished directly through the floor to a vat of beverage with these crazy sippy straws. I couldn’t wait to try it out!
You know me, living life to the fullest! Nothing stops me!
It was just then I felt a sharp pain in my belly, and figured I better take some Gas-X before the big girls night out. After all, I wanted to make sure there was room for dessert.
Dr. J. Renae Norton is a clinical psychologist, specializing in the outpatient treatment of eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, bulimarexia, and binge eating disorder (BED), as well as obesity. She is also the author of The Sun Plus Diet, due out in summer 2016.
Like me on Facebook
Contact Dr Norton by phone 513-205-6543 or by form
Medical Advice Disclaimer: The information included on this site is for educational purposes only. It is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. The reader should always consult his or her healthcare provider to determine the appropriateness of the information for their own situation or if they have any questions regarding a medical condition or treatment plan. Reading the information on this website does not create a physician-patient relationship. This information is not necessarily the position of Dr. J. Renae Norton or The Norton Center for Eating Disorders and Obesity.
©2016, Dr. J. Renae Norton. This information is intellectual property of Dr. J. Renae Norton. Reproduction and distribution for educational purposes is permissible. Please credit ‘© 2016, Dr. J. Renae Norton. http://www.eatingdisorderpro.com/